As I mentioned earlier I have been working from home all week. It's extremely hard taking care of two people while doing it. My husband can't lift the baby so I still need to do quite a bit of work there. What’s been happening is that I set the laptop up in the kitchen and whenever my son sees me he starts to whine even though his daddy is playing with him. He's a momma's boy alright! On my normal two days a week that I work from home I usually park the laptop on the couch and my son plays contently on the floor next to me. Of course he comes up for the occasional cuddle.  It's gets tough when I have to do conference calls and of course since he is walking now it's getting even harder.

My job is extremely demanding. In my department I'm one of about 20 people and I am the only woman! Unfortunately the Information Technology field is still predominately men, but I hold my own against the boys. Don't get me wrong as much as I complain about it I did at one point love my job. I think I just never realized how much more I would love my son and long to be with him. But I am hard worker and have an excellent work ethic so it takes me far and has helped me cope with the guilt I feel, even thirteen months later, on the days I leave my son. Why don't I just quit you might be wondering. Well first off I make almost double the hubby and second is I work from home two days a week and while it's not full time I don't know too many people that have a deal that good. So I am thankful for that. I have a good relationship with the VP of my department. He's very smart and treats his people pretty good. So on those really bad days that’s what I have to remind myself of.

The hubby is doing well. He got the staples out this week and that has made him feel some relief. I told him he can have the next baby (I had a C section) since now he has some of an idea of what it's like not including the time to carry the baby Of course I am just kidding; I would do it again in a heart beat! Joel has been a total trooper though. He's healing well but loosing weight like crazy. He's down to 129LBS! The doctor said that is normal with major surgery and he should start to put it back on in about three to four weeks. So the beat goes on....